The Untouchable Gawds!

As a 'kid' blessed with unlimited imagination, world has always been my oyster! I still remember, the distinct crinkled trumpet sound of typical music in 80s, blowing endlessly, when a shiny blue screen with "fly-out-text effect" in Red, use to declare that "Superman" was on his way to save the world! And lo-behold.. in moments, chill would run down my calcium-deprived bones, with eyes feasting on "humanly impossible" stunt by "SUPERMAN".

Now lets do a quick time travel to 21st century and leave "stupid and prehistoric" 80s back, rotting in their own layers of time. Superman, now has reduced to a mere amusing character, who is funkily dressed with underwear on top of skin trousers!!
Red under wears are sure still a fashion thing.. but geeeeez; Skin-Tight trousers or rather slacks with "Red Boots"??? I mean.. get out! and get a life!
Though I must admit the fact, that all these years have put more vibrant colors on his cheek. More than years, it's a magic of billion bit shades of computer. Thanks to same, he can fly even more smoothly and perform more than just a flip somersault, which now is a integral part of any form of "Freestyle" dance. Btw, anything, that is not rhythmic and unorganized is, "Freestyle".. but please don't let me get started on that!

Growing up is a sinful experience. Reality defies your imagination, experiences kill your innovation and re-makes of old "superhero movies" instill nothing but a "do-wider-than-that-and-you-are-the-man-yawn". Truthfully, I am more interested in stunts performed by Ronaldhinio on a football pitch. At least I have assurance that he doesn't have a 500Ghz microprocessor, 3000 mouse-clicks and RAM-Sucking advanced hyper-graphic software behind that rubber-foot dodge or a ball-flip on shoulder. He is REAL!

So in a gist, we are craving for "Reality". That’s why everything on TV is about "Reality Shows". I am mesmerized in my own words. After all, "They sound Reality-Intelligent", but heck no, please don't let me be sarcastic yet; I have much more to say than just that!!

I have seen every possible re-make of "Superman" along with originals. Gotta admit, each is an "evolving master piece". The costume remains the same, the food remains the same, the origin and story remains the same but every time, exaggeration of his power reaches a new height! [Hell no, I have nothing personal against superman! :)] Lets take batman and Spiderman for a change. They are all same. "Wear underwear on top, so that when skin-tight pants give away on strategic ass location, the red thingy is not shown in public". I mean.. bravo!!

Yet, I presume that, by the time my kids are my age, they would see superman, Spiderman, batman and similar, dressed up in capris, loose "I Fly with ma Fly open! Do You?" t-shirts and gold chains with $$ pendants!! And, Then my dear friends, all my grudges will end; at least about "wear-over under wears".

Now that I have tried my best to sublime the superhuman abilities of all the super heroes, let me zap back to reality, and to something which is more enticing!

The saga of "D.U.M.B [Defingly Unhuman and Morbid Battle] Style" of unsung heroes.
Had it been, that I was acquainted with these guys, a little early in my life cycle, super man would have remained a lamentable piece of imagination and instead I would be craving and donning Curly hairs, big paunch, overgrown moustache and 38 color check shirt with 12 million shades of yellow infested in it. Sigh.. not my luck. All I got for inspiration was smooth calf muscles, non-tobacco teeth and six packs showing through skin tights! Sigh...

Nevertheless, Recently G.H.O.S.T [God Holy Of Small Things] (Refer previous post) in my office brought me face to face with these stunts by regional actors of India. Now, these heroes might sound "regional" but their fan club comprises of people, who would outnumber all Hollywood hero's fan club together by magnitudes, anytime. They have, "Appeal". Yeah. Appeal!

I mean, what kind of guy can resist being a fan, if one of these "non extra terrestrial" and "no super power" dude, does a four wheel air leap of 20 seconds flat, with a mean machine weighing 4800Kgs. and purring with 75 Horsepower engines! I mean com'on?? If you think I am being a smartass liar, check out the video below.

The DUDE at work!!

And I thought, that almost anything was possible with Animation. Ah.. now you would agree, that, that's not true. We still need these heroes to do all these stunts.

I hope everyone has seen the famous action scene by Tom-Cruise in Mi-2. Climb up the mountain, while you sweat and grind. I would complement his efforts by entitling it as "Hanging for DEAR Life" stunt.
Anyways, at link mentioned below you will find a stunt not so different, and yet done in most effortless of ways! He seems to be more adept at climbing walls than Spiderman himself!!

Will Post the Link Soon

Those who thought Tom Cruise was God... sorry to disappoint you and John Woo. But, not quite yet! Tommy needs to work on his "rock climbing" skills.

Arms, outstretched!! Face smeared with pain, clinging on to save 100s of lives on a "City Metro Train" which runs on steel frames of sky, barely running as fast as superfast superconductor trains! Webs emerging from hands, our "Superhero" is defying all laws of limitations to stop that train in nick of time. Effort takes its toll, and he passes out. I'll repeat.. HE PASSES OUT. Yes, this is none other than Spiderman in "spiderman-2". The sequel of much loved prequel.

Now on other hand we have our, "non-superhuman-lover boy" here. I don't think so that anyone's life is at stake except his own , and I also don't think so, that anyone's life even matters right now except his own... but then, look at the following stunt below to see how not only he stops train but also make it travel in opposite direction as if he was paid extra for the movie and he just wanted to return the favor. For the record, my suppressed emotions... "GAWD.. he didn't even pass out!"

Loverboy on wheels!!

I would have left here for you to decide, why superman is retard piece of poop in front of "Our SuperMen"..but monik brought to my notice a mind-blowing video, which is just tooo good to resist... Imagine my "SHOCK" when I saw this...

CenterShock!!

I am sure, after seeing this, you can "Imagine my SHOCK". :D

And then there was a news about a movie, where one of our much adored "action-alpha-gawds" kicks the shit out of an approaching asteroid, standing on a "Wing" of a "Space craft" because the "Handy death-ray-blaster" in his hand did a malfunction at climax of movie and director couldn't come up with anything innovative enough to give back the worth of money spent on popcorn, and coughing them out.[In disbelief obviously!]

Yeah... he chose to kick the Asteroid out of his way, "BY TAKING THE SUPPORT OF EARTH!!"...
Thanks to the everlasting endurance of his "calf muscles", we could ignore the unreliability of "Death-Ray-blaster" developed by amateur scientist of NASA after much contemplation and RnD.

Anyway turns out, this was just a little bit more than just news! It's Actually a Movie!!!!

Truthfully, I wasn't shocked. I have given up on my imagination anyway, and let these guys do the homework now on! :|
Infact I have been so deeply influenced, that Now, Nothing.. I mean “nothing” can shock me anymore!

Hail to the gawds of "almighty aura and imagination", who did their best to kick the senses out of my brain and brain out of my head; and are still doing their best!

As for why I chose to name them as "The Untouchable Gawds...", just see those videos again and you'll notice a common trait.. "They never touch their opponents!". Afterall It's a rule of thumb "Keep thy hands clean of dirt!"

Good Morning Mails!!

Good morning mails! I hate good morning mails. And no matter how ironical it may sound, but damn, those mails are the second thing that never stop to ruin my morning. [First being, milk, shoved in my pitiful food pipe by my roommate, with all those confused mix of threats and sentiments..Heck! It's JUST milk.. give it up sucker!]
Anyway, the good morning mails.. yeah! they suck! I mean what kind of sense does it make to say right in morning...


When life gets corky and boss loves humping you by the ass
And sweet bitches in office, give nothing but finger, as they pass
World almost come to an end, and you are making a sucide plan
please smile my dear friend, as you are just one of the clan!!

When Love of life has departed, after kicking in your balls
because she found graphical stats of all other gf's calls
take it on your swanky chest, and ask for medi-claim
please smile my dear friend, it's just part of the game!

When nights are dull and hangover is long gone
no more booze left, vcd store is out of good porn
while life promises to be sad, gloomy and shit
please smile dear friend, you are just another misfit!

When you get a silicon transplant, instead of heart bypass,
and those nymphomaniac looks make you feel out of class
Every day starts surreal, haunted with misrey in galore
please smile my dear friend, bad-luck will knock on door!

When you feel bi-polar depressed and maddest of mad,
and crotch starts itching with sweat germs super-bad
take a break , speak to thy lord to take away the pain
please smile my dear friend, before morning starts to screw u again!

Good morning and have a great day ahead!

WTF? I mean.. what the hell does that mean? Do I look like a retard who would actually fail to understand the gaffe in that mail! Ridiculous! And yet, just as soon as morning in office begins, people literally start shoving-in those "ruthless torturing good morning" mails in my "under-sized, over-busy, super-slow and untra-miserable" inbox. It really depresses me at the end of the day, to see; that all my inbox contains is some "good morning mails" which failed to accomplish anything, but space on my disk and some mails which says "Is JackAssJavaServer87643 down?". [Can you access it, mud-head? No!?? Then you bet it's down! Duh!?]

<Back to good morning mails... >
My Pissed and pushed-over-the-edge mind is often lead to brilliant ideas. It was no exception this time. Finally I created a automatic rule in Outlook, which would take care of all the mails with "good morning" in subject line! [yeah thanks to that I missed a "very personal" mail by a girl, who "COULD" have been my temperory solution to all permanent problems!]

Anyway.. guys, FOCUS... The message is "DON'T SEND THOSE GOOD MORNING MAILS TO ME!! I LOATHE THEM!!!"

So Valentine's Day is here!

Me::
Blooming hearts, battling eyelashes
Cornered grins, lovebites and rashes
Bambie eyes and roses to show, you care
Dude! Some serious love is in the air!

Dude::
Wilting smiles, hungry and soggy eyes
Anorexic kids, with nothing but cries
Black soot, and acid dousing the air
detiorating world! and thats all I care

Me::
Cupid lurking, vigilant and enterprising
with arrows of love, and count rising!
High on love, all hearts open, with something to say
Dude! serious scoop! No wonder its vanlentine's day!

Dude::
Nothing but rich conglomerates booming
it's omen of a grave danger looming
tapdancing on nukes, we are smooching-bemused
digging own graves, by having those babies used.

Me::
Chuck the problems, lets belt good times to glory,
get saucy and forget about sordid world's sad story.
Show me some salsa, show me some jibes with that ass
wink at that cutie, smile and make a flirtatious pass.

Dude::
Leave Sordid world? And leave that Sad story?
So as to make our future more messy and gory?
Wake up, while there is still sand left in hourglass!
Make world better place, cause, thats what you gotta pass.

Me::
What about the scantily clad babe over there?
are you not a man, don't you just care?
She's been nodding at me, how can I loose my chance
lets handle this world, once I am done with the dance!

Dude::
Forget her, I shall help you save chicks hotter then ever
almost non-clad they are, just waiting for Mr. whoever
Nymphomaniacs, waiting for you to sweep them by feet
live in paradise city, with all felines so sweet!

Me:: [Tounge hanging out!]
Yeah... [wildly, swaying neck from left to right]
where ... where???

Dude::
Duh!? [sigh...] Guys will be guys!
Save world people! Watch what you do..
from throwing away unused paper to unused protection.
Neither is wise.
Happy Valentines' day..yet don't forget the world we live in

F.U.B.A.R.

FUBAR

FUBAR is an acronym that originated in the military to stand for the words "fucked up beyond all repair." This is often softened to "fouled up beyond all repair" in reference to hardware. The programming and documentation equivalent is "fouled up beyond all recognition." Sometimes the last word is "recovery" or "reconciliation" or "reason."

In a Virtual Address Extension (VAX), the acronym FUBAR has been adapted to refer to the words "failed UniBus address register." Some programmers apparently managed to sneak this by humorless higher-ups, and the term stuck.

F.U.B.A.R. International is the name of a film company founded in 1989 by several businessmen seeking adventure. They went on location to film natural disasters. Some of the disasters were artificially created, especially avalanches, which could be triggered by explosives. Company executives vacation in Vail, Colorado every year, and have become local celebrities. These days, F.U.B.A.R. International markets clothing and novelty items.

Because foo, an unrelated term, appears phonetically in FUBAR, programmers have taken to using both foo and bar as metasyntactic variables when two such variables are needed.

Archives Of Stranger's Life.

I have followed this diary for 3 years.
At one point, I lost the link and forgot about it for months. But one day, when all of it came back rushing to me, I spent 3 and half hours, searching for the right link in Diaryland’s alphabetical archives.

Kind of dawns on you. The girl and her diary.

I have read thousands of, amazing entries, by awesome people; yet she bags it all away. Whole diary is worth a read.

At least, you'd know, how does a mind of confused-teen thinks? She writes, what she thinks.

I know, to few, it may be offensive, boring or weird. But I think, she is honest, courageous and blunt. Often I have found myself, saying. "Wish I could write like that"

[The page where it all begins]

Happy New Year 2006?

And I am just moments away from being the "Ultimate Cover-Page" of every renowned magazine of the world. [For a good reasons obviously]
[They definitely wouldn't put a psychic's face from IT outsourcing workforce of India, for nothing.]
I was jussst minutes away from choosing to hire either George Bush or Bill gates as my personal assistant. I mean, guys, just grasp the desperation and euphoria of moment.
And just when, I almost had it all... "Kabooooom"... someone blows a tone of TNT in open. [Or at least that’s what it sounded like in sleep!]
All dreams shattered, I am lying in my bed, with stinking pillow singing an equally sordid story. "Yappy Hew Near...hic'" As some, teetotaler howls in street below...I mumble, "F*** You!" My dad wakes up and growls..."What?"... I replied... "Yeah..Happy New Year to you too Dad!" and put my head below the pillow. [I usually do that to shut off the weirdo world! What a group of retards live in this city. [Yeah including me]

What’s so great about the New Year that you haven't seen? I mean.. Think of it, you never know what’s gonna happen, Maybe a meteor will zoom past your lives, while you are evaporated [along with your dog, girlfriend, illegal kids, AIDS, guilt and debts] in nano’th of milliseconds. [Actually now that I think of it, this way, it does look promising].

Yet, what is the chance that it's gonna be happy? [All the cynic optimists can go to Deathclock. These guys usually predict long life as if they own the solar system and nature. Yet another breed of retards]
Nevertheless, we shell out "The Green/Vitamin-M” to get drunk, dance and party. [And probably be blown by terrorist groups, who are looking forward to their kind of "blast" at such parties.] And then next morning [if we are still alive],
We realize amidst that maddening hangover; we shelled out too much and now credit card bills are running just too huge.
And in this perfect moment of irony, [as I can bet my life on it] someone would walk up to you, with that seemingly sarcastic smile, and say "Happy New Year, pal"; where's the party! And that my friend is the ultimate moment of dawning comprehension. Or at least for me.

I gazed through my credit card bill once again. It said, Dumbuldore Pub = Rs. "hell lot of money". And then I reflect back on the total amount of charity I have done in past few years. All I could mumble was, "God bless my insane soul!!" [I have always said that!]

A new year that brings, millions of decaying bodies, for they don’t have food, water, medicines, parents, life and love; it sure has to be "Happy".
A new year that brings you more close to a possibility of "mere" wipe out of human race with nuclear-madness, ticking biological weapons and gunned down human bombs; I say it "is" bloody "happy"
And a new year, that boast of generation spawned in violent, cold and uncompassionate world; it damn better be happy!

I am so proud of myself that I slept and crept into this "New Year" [my favorite way of celebrating], which promises to be "Happy". It better be. Cause if it is not, then all the money spent on 31st Dec night 2006, once again would be a "powerful" waste.
Powerful, because, so much money would change life of people who actually need that "change in life"
And waste because, only part that they will get from all that money is probably, just extra little "change".

Yet, Happy New Year, to all those, who are oblivious, optimistic and obdurate. May your ignorance be your key to shackles of guilt, when you need them, finally?

Have a productive and a characteristic new year. And that is all I wish.

God Holy Of Small Things!

God Holy of small things [yeah.. plagiarism Rocks! and who's got a problem with that?]
Never mind. This article was suppose to be a dedication to a guy, who [I thought atleast] was born on this day. Never mind once again the fact that I was just a victim of inaccurate official information, penned down in official records with as much ignorance as I can imagine. Obviously, as it turns out, it's not his b'day today. So much for hunting down "million dollar snap" and writing these "1000-years-down-the-line" article.
Yet, I thought, that since I have put in "teeny-weeny" hard work doing all this, I might as well bring some meaning out of my sweat.
Now... in whole world, why "God Holy of Small Things?".The title "God Holy of small things" has been chosen for two primary reasons...
1. Because, it can be abbreviated as G.H.O.S.T and I think it sounds pretty cool.
2. And becuase, he saved my "indispensible ass" by slogging on weekends, and correcting millions of small things in my "SMART (Simple and Miraculous Aggravated Randomized Typing) CODE".

Yeah, I am not all that a "dude-coder" that way. [Ok..ok.. I am just being modest.]
He definitely stumped me the way, he quitely worked in background, to tweak my stuff and probably is still doing now and He's definitely got an eye for an small things and thats why all the plagiarism to deal with title-problem! Moreover, I admire the patience this guy showed with me.. atleast If I was in his shoes, and someone would approach [rather stand on my head for trillionth time asking same problem] I would say "Hey! I got an idea... why don't you just shove it up you nose". [yeah... i know...it's a public blog. Let's keep profanity in-bounds!]

Apart from being "four-sighted" he's got a knack for humour. Once he's around, you can always feel that pungent smell of laughter tickling your immaculate nostrils [please don't be flattered guys; i just didn't find any other word for christ sake] .

Nevertheless, since it's not his birthday today after all, lets stop the "battering-of-flattering" here. And yet, wish him much deserved "Official-Yappy-Birthday".

By the way, I forgot to reveal the name :: It's none other than our very own "Yum-Yo-Yen-Yi-K" Monik!
Cheers, to the guy, who has saved my ass and has covered for me more often than I could ask for. :-)
Thanks

Who is this Santa Guy anyway!!

Something that I did not write, but it's hilarious! Read Full! You'll love it!

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18). But since Santa doesn't (appear to) handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total - leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000 th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, at tops 25-30 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child gets nothing more then a medium sized LEGO set (2 lbs), the sleigh is carrying 321300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the 'flying reindeer' can pull TEN TIMES that normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine - we need 214200 reindeer. This increased the payload--not even counting the weight of the sleigh--to 353430 tons. Again for comparison, this is four timed the weight of the HMS Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subject to centrifugal forces of 17500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250 lb Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by a 4,315,015 pound force. In conclusion, if Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas eve, he's now dead.

Confession Of Black UnderPants!

Calvin:: "Hobbes, someday even my rocket-ship underpants don't help."
Hobbes:: "Well you've done all you can!"

Now, how many people think that, that’s hilarious or something that is humorous rather than thought provoking? Well, if you do, Then I'd suggest, it's high time, you reflect back onto the reality of your life, which is consumed by greed and self-over-confidence.
I am a very practical headed guy, or at least that's what I say. ['_'] Yet, I have a strong belief, that secret of a Calvin’s accomplishments and mine are same. "Our Dear Underpants". Only obvious difference is, that being an ardent fan of celestial world, he chose something groovy that reflects his inherent personality and it's integral traits. "The rocket-ship Underpants!". On the other hand, I chose, [by matter of pure luck, mind it.] a simple plain black, "Jockey" underpants, which somehow, seems to jab a thrust of luck into my day and work.
Like bill-watterson and Calvin, if it was up to me, to choose my lucky underpants; I would right away go for a Red one with polka dots. My personal fav. without second thoughts.

Nevertheless, Blessed I am, for having something to look up to [or down towards] to make my day. Now here on I shall dive into a little melodrama and history of fact, that how did I come to realization that it was lucky for me. For those, who believe me by my word can try this simple exercise themselves to identify, the discrete objects that bring luck to them. :-)

When I bought those plain looking, scanty piece of discrete clothing, it never occurred to me even in my insane mind, that I might actually see it one day, as a solution of all my personal, technical, social, mental and biological problems. But then, there is no denying the fact that it has played it's role more responsibly than at least those "Make-Me-Stinky-Rich-Quick" tablets/pills.

Well, as I already said, I am not superstitious. But those tablets "did-have" something in them. As soon as I had one, I felt like, it's already working. And pardon me for obscurity, but the reasons were obvious. The "immediate-stink" led me to believe, that if I am stinking already, I maybe "rich" any moment now. Sigh... it never happened. Probably I needed luck "even with eating those tablets". [So I tried eating them in succession..]

Burpp... yeah.. that’s what happened. Gas! As if we don't have enough pollution in Bangalore already [Sorry, Bangluru, as it has been almost renamed today]. And it was after those frequent visits to my much-fav. loo, that I started to notice my black underpants, in all the free time I had behind that laminated ply door speaking of my deteriorating financial condition and equally hapless stroke of luck.

I had to do something to surface out of the pool of problems in my life. And nothing but euphoria surrounds you, when you realize that finally you have spotted the beam of light at the other end of tunnel[whether it is of oncoming train or bright sunshine in blue sky]. In moments of desperation, I took inspiration from my childhood heroes; Spiderman, Superman, Phantom... you name them.

Now here is the "million dollar question". What is common among all the heroes. Supernatural powers?? naaa... The powers themselves are different. The most prominent common thing, is the "unique-wear-over-trousers-underpants".

I mean.. seriously, have you seen a "normal-guy" wearing his underpants on top of his skin tight trousers? Answer is No. And I can bet my fortune [if I had any] on it. Yet all the heroes do that. This "had" to be the secret of their "dodge-bullets-at -end-time", "bombs-go-off-late" and "hottest-chick-falls-only-for-you" LUCK!

Damn, in the moments of dawning comprehension, I cracked the secret of perfect luck potion, "the underpants". Now the question remained; "Which one is it??" So when I was depleted with logical reasoning and ideas to figure out "THE ONE", I started with conventional "hit and trial" method.
Day after day, with the help of my "go-everywhere-take-anywhere-pocket-logbook" and careful analytical skills [developed while preparing for Infy entrance] I deciphered the ultimate natural encryption. And it did not come as a surprise, that my "hacking skills got exposed" while wearing "This" lucky under pant. Boy! was it a day. I knew right from the moment I woke up to the minutes, I fell asleep, that nothing could turn it's back on me, as long as I wear these lucky attire of manly dressing.

Now, only if you'd identify "the under pant" that radiates all the luck you need, you'd be never miserable and poor like I was once. And next time someone asks you, "How come you get to be so lucky??" tell them that "they might be sitting on it, maybe they just don't know about it!"

But then, one thing must be remembered at all times... Nature is most powerful agent of all times, and as Calvin very rightly said.. "Some days, even my lucky rocket-ship underpants won't help!" :-D

AID with AIDS.

Sick and Diseased, are not people who have AIDS; they are just victims.
Sick and diseased, are people like you and me; who would just them be, a victim.

Please practice safe sex [By this I definitely do not mean, "Practice sex" :-D]
And know following "Facts" regarding AIDS:

• HIV and AIDS are "disassociative". A AIDS person is HIV victim, but HIV may not lead to AIDS.
  
  
• HIV and AIDS are most commonly transmitted through one night stands.
  
  
• Contraceptives are not always effective. [As Joey and Ross already made a fuss, IT IS MENTIONED ON THE BOX!]
  
  
• All means of "PRO-CREATIVE" sex can transmit HIV and AIDS virus. Yeah... I mean even, Oral by that.
  
  
• Even conatct with open wounds and sores can transmit the virus. "So DO NOT HURT PEOPLE!"
  
  
• Abstinence is the only 100% perfect way to protect yourself from sexually transmitted AIDS/HIV. Sigh..So much for "chawayanprash" and Gym classes. :-/
  
  
• AIDS/HIV is not a gay disease or a punishment from God against immoral behavior. HIV is much worse, it's an invitation by DEVIL for "HELL OF A PARTY". Please don't go. Parties like these suck. Take my word for it.
  
  
• AIDS/HIV can also be transmitted through injection drug use, blood transfusions, and from mother to fetus. So used fresh needles for cocain. Drink only "approved" blood.
  
  
• The HIV virus itself is not a very strong virus - it is not air born and has a very short life outside of human fluids. So keep breathing.
  
  
• AIDS/HIV has been found in human saliva but there is no medical evidence to date supporting claims that it can be passed on through infected saliva. All the french kissers, this may come as a good news to you. [That is, if you were using protection to kiss also, till now]
  
  
• AIDS/HIV does not care about the color of your skin, your religious beliefs, your sexuality, your age or your socio-economic standing - it is an equal opportunity deadly virus!. I Repeat, "EQUAL-OPPURTUNITY". It's very "common" and I am sure you want to be unique, like everyone else. :-)
  

Play Safe and Stay Safe. Kindly be aware of all the right things and help doing the same.

[And Godika... The Bisleri adv. had nothing to do with "Dehydration". This is what they meant! U Retard - Ass]

Song That Speaks Today...

In your life you seem to have it all
You seem to have control
But deep within your soul
You're losing it
You never took the time
Assume that you're to blame
You think that you're insane
Won't you spare me

[Chorus:]
I know the breakdown
Everything is gonna shake now someday
I know the breakdown
Tell me again am i awake now maybe
You can find the reason that no one else is living this way

Yeah your lies
Your world is built around
Two faces of a clown
The voices in your head
Think there's four pawns down
Well in this unity
Fate has found the need
So you better check yourself
Before you check out

[Chorus]

If you find yourself
Then you might believe
Then within yourself
You just might conceive

[Chorus]

You can find the reason that (you can find the reason that)
No one else is living this way (you can find the reason that way)